handbags and gladrags

sigh.. been thinking of the poor beggers on the streets i've seen..
the granny bowing down..
the terribly burnt (scarred) legless boy..
the old man (showing off) his horrible wound on the leg....
the old man flat on the floor..

oh my..
:..(
did the old man specially take advantage that he was injured.. so that pple could take pity on him?
or specially peel off his scabs before they could dry / heal properly so that he'd look more miserable?
or was it just that cos he's old and takes sooo long to heal.
i dunno. but it has a huge cringe factor.

and i cant help but feel sorry for them. esp when loads of pple walk past them. and practically take no notice of them. indifferent.
a lady beside me was rather queasy abt his injuries..but that was it. cos she was more abt dealing with her discomfort.

asked a few friends abt their plight. and they said they don't have to go to such an extent since the govt already provides welfare.
but how much welfare is provided anyway?!

ugh. i'm such a softie.
i wish i could help them.
but not yet. :(
what can i do now????
i can only pray.. :..(

was walking on a overhead bridge twds festival walk
when i heard someone playing an erhu..
it wasnt very professional.. but somehow it came across as very touching.. and sad...
it gave me goosebumps..
so i took out a coin and put it in his music case.. and the face i looked up to had deep emotions that i could not decipher.. :(
it now remains as a picture in my memory..
it was such a big contrast to the professional cello and pianist in the shopping ctr.
musically perfect. yet. i didnt feel that much intense emotion as i did for the man on the bridge.

the old lady reminded me of my late grandma..
deep wrinkles showing all the hardship she's had etched in her face.
kowtowing, abandoning whatever pride she had..
to sustain the price of her daily meals. possibly for more expenses she could not afford..

the little boy. possibly 14 years old. sitting in the middle of the road.
of the horrible scars on his head and back and legs..
looked like burn marks from a fire / hot oil.
flashes of what might have happened to him.
the silence of his suffering as he sat there on the road.
:'(

the faceless old man as he lay facefront along the sidewalk.
both legs amputated at the knees.
throngs of pple walk past him.
yet just smirks / shock that quickly fade away..
:..(

maybe i'm thinking too much.
but isnt it quite how to say.. scary? that this is how people react?
i think they're used to such sights.
but then again.. we're all brothers and sisters in this world together..
gahhh having such trouble trying to describe what i'm feeling..
boo.